Saturday, 11 October 2014

The 155th Death Wish. (Do you really want to live forever?) [Archives]

I can never forget that day.

He was crying. The white haired, silver bearded senile great great grandfather was crying- no, sobbing. His whole frail body shook as he heaved. He motioned to me with his left hand and spoke in a low, barely audible voice. The language was difficult to decipher, but the meaning was not lost, despite the fact that I had no prestidigitation for sorting, handling or dealing the cards of Igbo phrases.

He motioned for me to sit by patting the empty space beside him on the wooden termite eaten bench in the local foyer, from which we could both see other houses in the village and feel the warm gusts of the parched east wind. M’pa stretched his shrivelled hand around my neck and wept some more. I had chanced upon him here. Nna men, I was busy; rushing for a meeting, rushing to save the world...but would not the Comforter want me to comfort?

I called Vitalis to help me decipher the words of the ancient from another tongue into the language of the Queen. The oldest man in the village where killed witch-avatars embodied in rats and snakes are laid out on the tarmac to be run over by trucks, and where monkeys are sacred barely managed, ‘God has forgotten me on earth.’ He said it like a whisper. Nearly like an accusation. His entire generation and that of those after him were dead. He had buried all his children and his 3 wives. His grandchildren had built houses and his great grandchildren were marriageable. And here he was laying his hoary head on my right shoulder and weeping. He was weeping a death wish- crying a dirge; whispering a lamentation.

That was the day I knew his will had been broken.

Every drop of his clear and salty tears had a voice. He had lost all interest in the temporal. Earth held no fascination anymore. The birds did not chirp anymore- he was hearing the singing of perpetuity. The rain did not fall anymore- he was watching for the falling of another sheet; the curtain of infinity. The rivers did not flow into the sea anymore- they coursed upwards. The sun did not shine anymore- he longed for a place where there was no sun- and no night.

155* seasons, 155 rains, 155 years. When he was born, there were no birth certificates. There were no government records. There was no Nigeria. Only slave trade and forests; warring kingdoms and a handed down vision by a clairvoyant king of the coming of the white man. He was one of the first men to embrace and spread the Light. He was born before the polluted wind, the raped earth, the tamed fire, the polluted water. He knew the Son. He knew that death is the window to a better life.

 

A few weeks later, we ate kolanuts, bitter kola, Akpu and thick Okazi soup washed down with water from a local spring. Palm wine and alcohol was justified for those who relished the art of drunkery- drunkenness and revelry.  It was a funeral; but I can’t remember if anyone was sad. As music blared, I could not but remember the man who cried because he was too old. I had been called to stretch out his body from foetal position one dark moonless night. No cardiac or respiratory activity. Pupils fixed and dilated. Rigor mortis in the posture of a child in the womb.

 Youth and 70 year olds painted their beards and heads with the old man's white powder in the same foyer; the foyer in which my right shoulder had been drenched. Their ritual, fetish and prayer was to live as long as M’pa. As I silently looked on, I laughed in my heart. If only they knew. If only they knew about the tears.

That night, I understood again the Prophecy by the man who refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation. Once you are satisfied and have fully accomplished purpose, close your eyes. Sleep. Death is a window to another life. Death is the window to a better life. I stopped fearing it at redemption. Let him that hath an ear, let him hear.

‘the years draw near where you shall say, I have no pleasure in them.’ ~Jedidiah ben David c 971BC

‘For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.’ ~Paul of Tarsus c AD 61

‘Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me. No guilt in life, no fear in death. Here in the death of Christ I live.’ ~Newsboys c AD 2000

* his recorded birth was in 1854 

No comments:

Post a Comment